So in a bid to bring aid to the weary revellers of Tyneside / a reasonably fun bit of PR for a change, Pot Noodle will be on the streets of Newcastle tonight, transporting folk around the town on their liveried tuk tuk.

A what what? You know. Bond. Octopussy. Three wheeled trolley-car-thing.

You hop on board the tuk tuk, get stuck into a Pot Noodle like the refined middle class citizen you are, while the chauffeur whisks you away to your next port of call.

Sounds fun? It probably will be, although it’s unlikely Lucy Pinder will be on hand to snuggle into you, dammit. If you fancy a spin, get yourself along to Sam Jack’s at The Gate tonight from 9pm.

Not a million miles from the city centre, less than one in fact, Nancy’s Bordello is similiar in tone and style to Vibrant Venture’s other offerings, including Florita’s and Mr Lynch.

Now branded as Newcastle’s only world music bar, the venue is celebrating the launch of Latino Underground this Friday, and is inviting members for an hour of free drinking from 8pm. There are two rooms of latin house, samba, salsa and cha cha cha, which will no doubt lead to outrageous and frankly filthy dancing. Hurrah.

To get on the guestlist, email the venue at info@nancysbordello.com, though expect a queue back to Byker if you arrive at 8pm on the dot.

If you’ve heard folk refer to The Diamond Strip but haven’t a clue what they’re talking about, let Helen Foley take you by the hand and buy you a shot of tequila or two along the way…

All that glitters is… well, diamondy. Especially when it comes to a Newcastle night out. Of course we’re referring to The Diamond Strip; the loop of uber cool watering holes, complete with unsociably loud music and unreasonably high drinks prices.

It’s so-called as it not only refers to the loose diamond shape the bars are situated in, but it also the demographic of pseudo-glitterati that is attracted to the area.

At the North West tip of the diamond is Revolution; never mind that it takes you six hours to get served on a Saturday night, folk seem to be more than comfortable under the beautifully high ceiling, Stoli in one hand and a startling lack of change from a tenner in the other.

Moving along Collingwood Street, we arrive at what used to be Apartment. Now Florita’s, this bar is expanding the novel and eclectic trend currently sweeping Newcastle that is Lynchism (I made that up myself). Florita’s and little Baby Lynch next door are both Vibrant Venture bars, fitting into what is the cool new trend of being totally random when it comes to décor.

Take a short stumble and you’re at Perdu. The pretentiousness of the name helps it stand out because it’s French, thus making it sound posh. Funny though, that translated it means lost, which is precisely how you feel once you’re through the doors, realise its pitch black and everyone looks the same.

Before we take a sharp right at the end of Collingwood Street though, we ought to extend the diamond idea along to Mosely Street where the persistently changing bar Bijoux nestles awkwardly at the Rockport-clad foot of the Bigg Market.

Despite its location being outside the ‘diamond’ formed by Collingwood St, St Nicholas St and Westgate Road, Bijoux also has a French name, so let’s throw it in the mix.

Tup Tup Palace continues the up-market trend on St Nicholas Street. This bar has all the makings of a proper city goldmine but sadly has recently been reported to be suffering severe financial difficulty. A relaunched menu, a new room inside the venue and a rebranding exercise will hopefully reverse its fortunes.

Round the corner again, we arrive at Tokyo on Westgate Road which has been thus for a long, long time and is perhaps where Newcastle’s love affair with the six quid glass of wine began. Which leads us back to Revolution, completing the tour of the Diamond, or more suitably named Diamante, Strip.

Its loyal weekend demographic view it as an acceptable middle ground between other drinking areas they would never set foot in. They’re too good for the Bigg Market riff raff, yet woe betide any designer clad, hard grafting, tax paying gent or lady to set foot in the more scruffy, relaxed and student-led dives further towards Central Station.

In fact, its like the Quayside of the future; you can be as hideously drunk and embarrassing as you like, whilst still ranking higher in the social stakes compared the average Bigg Market lout, as you’re paying above the odds for the sauce. After all, we can all pretend that we’re minted and classy if we shelling out a fiver for a shot of tequila.

However, it now seems the venue is getting a little more than new stationary and a quote from the signwriters; the venue has been closed this weekend.

Tup Tup Palace went into administration last month, with a long list of suppliers receiving letters from the administrators concerning unpaid bills, some totalling thousands of pounds.

Pathfinder Ventures spent £2 million launching the venue at the end of last year. While the bar has continued trading, the lease for the business has been sold to Tokyo Industries who also operate Toyko and Digital in the city.

Despite the fact that the fixtures and fittings are brand new, the venue has been closed until a “launch showcase” next weekend. A text sent to members states the bar will receive “some sparkling enhancements and a new area”.

Photo by ThunderChild tm on Flickr. Some rights reserved.

A long list of suppliers received letters from the administrators concerning unpaid bills, some totalling thousands of pounds. Pathfinder Ventures spent £2 million launching the venue at the end of last year.

While the bar has continued trading, the lease for the business has been sold to Tokyo Industries who also operate Toyko and Digital in the city.

According to sources, the troubled venue will be relaunched as Michi Newcastle in the coming weeks, although there’s no word as to whether the bar will close for refurbishment. The first stage of the revamp begins next Friday with new menus and entertainment.

Photo by ThunderChild tm on Flickr. Some rights reserved.

Today’s Sunday Sun reports that a new female-only bar has opened inside the Sports Cafe, at the corner of Grainger Street and Westgate Road.

While the Sugar Bar doesn’t host parties involving married mums and whipped cream, it does have male waiters showing more than a little flesh.

The bar has been open for the past couple of months, but is set to be officially launched at the end of this month.

Rachel Haslam, sales manager at the Sports Cafe told the newspaper: “There are a few venues for men only around Newcastle and, although we’re not the female rivals of those places, we thought the city needed somewhere for ladies to even things out a bit.

“There is strictly no men allowed in the Sugar Lounge. They can go in other parts of the Sports Cafe but not in there.”

Photo by Dominic’s pics on Flickr. Some rights reserved.